timeless | ageless | aggravating

in a world where physical appearance means a heck of a lot, where looking young is high on the list of goals in peoples lives. and with the numerous products and medical treatments that people go through to achieve this goal. here i am, on the opposite spectrum. i strive to look older.. than what i appear. i'd be satisfied with anywhere in the 20s, as opposed to in the tweens. seriously, i've gotten carded for a rated r movie before. and that's 18!! numerous people always tell me, oh you're so lucky to look young. and i'm sure i will be when i'm 40. but at the moment it's kind of a drag. i don't even know what face attributes i have that cause for this age confusion. i don't think that i have a baby face, maybe my face just looks kiddish? is it my petite stature? or my somewhat high pitch voice? (is it really that high pitch??) when i look to what american conventional beauty is, i know that i could never be in that category. and only because of the fact that the idea of conventional beauty is not a 15 year old girl. (albeit not asian either). although it's not that, that bothers me. it's the treatment of not being taken seriously. i can't even count the times people have come or called the house and asked for my mommy or daddy. Or the times i've gone into a store and was practically ignored by the shop employees. once i actually received some assistance at pier one while i was looking at furniture, only to be redirected to their air fresheners.. which were apparently all the rage with kids for their dorm rooms. i can only imagine when the time comes for an actual child, and people will look at me in disdain, whispering 'another teen pregnancy' under their breath. sigh_

i just hate being mistaken for a child.

*edit_ i'm not angry. just had to vent.. and i know. it's the curse that's a blessing. also this does not apply to people i know. because if you know me and still think of me as a kid thats understandable. it's for people who base that opinion solely based on looks alone.