This is where the hungry come to feed. For mine is a generation that circles the globe and searches for something we haven't tried before. So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it.

Mar 7, 2007

timeless | ageless | aggravating

in a world where physical appearance means a heck of a lot, where looking young is high on the list of goals in peoples lives. and with the numerous products and medical treatments that people go through to achieve this goal. here i am, on the opposite spectrum. i strive to look older.. than what i appear. i'd be satisfied with anywhere in the 20s, as opposed to in the tweens. seriously, i've gotten carded for a rated r movie before. and that's 18!! numerous people always tell me, oh you're so lucky to look young. and i'm sure i will be when i'm 40. but at the moment it's kind of a drag. i don't even know what face attributes i have that cause for this age confusion. i don't think that i have a baby face, maybe my face just looks kiddish? is it my petite stature? or my somewhat high pitch voice? (is it really that high pitch??) when i look to what american conventional beauty is, i know that i could never be in that category. and only because of the fact that the idea of conventional beauty is not a 15 year old girl. (albeit not asian either). although it's not that, that bothers me. it's the treatment of not being taken seriously. i can't even count the times people have come or called the house and asked for my mommy or daddy. Or the times i've gone into a store and was practically ignored by the shop employees. once i actually received some assistance at pier one while i was looking at furniture, only to be redirected to their air fresheners.. which were apparently all the rage with kids for their dorm rooms. i can only imagine when the time comes for an actual child, and people will look at me in disdain, whispering 'another teen pregnancy' under their breath. sigh_

i just hate being mistaken for a child.

*edit_ i'm not angry. just had to vent.. and i know. it's the curse that's a blessing. also this does not apply to people i know. because if you know me and still think of me as a kid thats understandable. it's for people who base that opinion solely based on looks alone.